Hard Lessons: let’s improve our negotiation skills.
As exasperating as it may sound, gender-based disparity in the workplace is still a phenomenon that women have to deal with daily.
It doesn't matter whether a woman is more educated than her male counterparts; she's still earning 71 cents for every dollar they earn. And this pay discrepancy is just the tip of the iceberg.
From promotions or advancements to seeking investment, networking, or reaching a contract agreement, the problem isn't just that women are overlooked in most cases but also that they don't negotiate to win.
So, what holds women back, and how can they negotiate more effectively? Let's find out below!
What Challenges Do Women Face During Negotiations?
As a woman, I've found that the challenges we face during negotiations have less to do with our qualifications or experience and more with our cultural upbringing and innate beliefs.
Before we discuss how to polish our negotiation skills, it's better to understand the elements that limit our potential so we can develop strategies to break those walls once and for all.
The Gender Bias
Although we're living in 2024, and it's pretty clear that women and men are equally competitive, we're still unable to break the age-old perception of "Oh, but she's a woman."
Something as minute as a perception alone has burned so many bridges that we, as women, could be walking on today. Our peers may just "perceive" us as less competent or authoritative for a particular role, thereby entirely undermining our argument during negotiations.
Fear of Breaking Societal Norms
Society has labelled women as nurturing and obliging creatures even though there is ample evidence of our qualities of ambition, passion, and firmness.
Despite that, these labels have become defining factors of women, like shackles around our feet, keeping us from reaching the heights we aim for.
These false stereotypes are deemed gospel truths to such an extent that even though I would never agree with them, I would still be a little hesitant to break them because of the backlash I could receive.
My hesitance is supported: Harvard Research has revealed that women are actually scared of being perceived as "unfeminine" or "too bossy" if they try to break societal norms.
Acceptance: “It is What it is”
There also comes a point in our lives where we just accept things for how they are.
Be it pay disparities, double standards, or efforts to get recognition, sometimes women adopt the "it is what it is" attitude to survive in a male-dominated industry or because they've seen the efforts of countless other female professionals go to vain.
While it may give you the job security we're looking for, it's also fatal, depleting our sense of self-worth.
How Can Women Become Better Negotiators?
So, how can we step beyond these limitations and use our natural strengths to become negotiators who are taken seriously? Here are a few tips that can help you achieve this outcome.
Define Your Goals and the Goals of the Person You're Dealing With
Start negotiations with your most aspirational goals. Before entering a discussion, think carefully about where you can and can't compromise.
Women tend to give in more quickly than men, but it becomes easier to hold your ground when you have a clear outline of objectives. From the beginning, specify what you can and can't accept, and stick to it until the end of the conversation.
Before the conversation, do some homework on the person you're talking to. What are their goals and priorities? When you can see things from their perspective, you can craft your messages in a way that considers their goals and meets your goals, too.
Develop Active Listening Skills
Gender aside, we can all lose our calm when things don't go our way. This is where active listening enters the picture and takes first place on the list of the most important negotiation skills.
Active listening involves hearing what the other party is saying and then repeating it to yourself in your own words before responding. This ensures you have a clear idea of what the other side is talking about.
Moreover, it also moderates tension, keeping you from losing your composure. Sometimes, people will deliberately try to get under your skin so you can get worked up. But the moment you take the bait, your position can get compromised.
Display a Position of Power
You can use stats and compelling dialogue to support your argument, but you will need more than that to get you far. Harnessing the power of nonverbal communication is just as important.
It doesn't matter who you're talking to; remember to sit confidently. Crouched shoulders or fidgeting legs are signs of weakness that can be immediately spotted and exploited.
Similarly, there's no need to act differently than you usually would. Altering the tone of your voice, giggling, or laughing more to be perceived as likable are all examples of triggering gender biases and can weaken your position.
It would help if you also felt physically comfortable in a place, no matter how alien it may be. Whether at a coffee shop, someone's office, or a golf club, don't hesitate to seek extra room for yourself or sit at the head of the table.
Spread your documents or files to ensure you have a large and comfortable area and to promote your visibility.
These tips can help you feel empowered and combat stereotypical beliefs about women's perceived "weaknesses."
Practice to Perfection
No one is born a great negotiator. However, it's a skill we can practice to perfection with time. This applies not only to reviewing and polishing your pitch but also to conducting mock negotiations with yourself in front of the mirror.
Each practice session can help you find new ways to strengthen your position. It also establishes familiarity with the negotiation process so that when the time comes for the actual negotiation, you can handle it with confidence.
Create a Win-Win Situation
Yes, we all negotiate because we want our demands to be met. But if you can reframe it from a win-lose situation to a win-win situation, there's a better chance you'll leave the conversation with some of your goals met.
When you stop seeing negotiations as a battlefield and shape the conversation into a more collaborative approach toward achieving the greater good for both parties, everyone feels like they're getting something from the deal.
This can empower women, leaving little to no room for rejection of their proposals or demands.
While the road to achieving gender parity in the workplace remains fraught with challenges, the power to negotiate effectively lies within every woman. As we continue to practice and perfect our negotiation skills, we can create a professional landscape that acknowledges and celebrates women's talent and determination everywhere.
Cyble Rizwan is a seasoned copywriter dedicated to helping brands create unforgettable and valuable content.