How to Recover from Burnout
I want you to live your life as though you’re recovering from a brain injury.
In 2018, I suffered a traumatic brain injury and still deal with the resulting symptoms today.
But this isn’t about me; this is about you.
For the last 5 years, I’ve connected with, interviewed, and have been treated by dozens upon dozens of a wide-variety of medical practitioners. I have learned a tremendous amount…but there is one thing that really sticks out for me that I think might apply to many of you high-achievers:
Did you know that recovering from burnout looks *a lot* like recovering from head trauma? It all comes down to brain health. No, not tech-bro biohacking or optimizing…just understanding how to keep guardrails in place so you can complete the marathon, not pass out after winning the made-up sprint we’re all racing.
You know the one…early zoom call, walk the dog, make lunches, get the kids ready for school, (maybe) shower yourself, crush your work and deal with your shitty boss, inhale 3-day old, luke-warm leftovers, back to work, remember to pee!, silent sob in between calls, throw something together for dinner, (maybe) exercise, chauffeur your kids around to the activities that sounded really great when you originally signed up for them and basically handed over your wallet, oh god don’t forget the phone bill, and collapse in a heap on top of the 3 loads of laundry you’ve been meaning to do for the last 2 days.
Rinse, repeat.
It’s impossible. We cannot, we WILL NOT continue this way. SO! Regardless of brain injury or burnout, or just plain old tired, if you’re constantly feeling like you’re burning the candle at both ends, I have 3 concrete things for you to consider implementing in your day to day. These shifts have been critical, non-negotiables to stopping the downward spiral, stabilizing, and finally improving overall health gradually. They won’t surprise you:
Personal choices ie how to approach your physical and mental health
A Pacing strategy, which is a pomodoro-style flow to the day
A Points system not unlike Weight Watchers, which we will henceforth refer to as Brain Watchers.
Personal choices: how to approach your physical and mental health
This is the ‘self-care’ topic that we probably spend most of our time reading about and tinkering with. We talk non-stop about sleep, diet, exercise, and mindfulness, and there’s good reason for that. If already you know your shit then let me save you some time: focus on a) consistency and b) variation, and you’re already ahead of the game. For those, like me, that have yet to master overall health, read on:
Start with sleep. Good sleep hygiene is the foundation on which other building blocks can be placed. You don’t need to be a sleep expert to know that a good, solid evening routine can make big improvements to your sleep. It’s not rocket surgery:
no screens 2 hours before bed
exercising during the day will help with better sleep
a calming nighttime routine of something like skin care, stretching, aromatherapy, reading a book will make a notable difference
If you have ongoing sleep issues, prioritize getting in to see a medical professional or head to a sleep clinic. Get it fixed, it’s important!
Next up: food. This area of focus is important but often overlooked. We forget that a nutritious diet isn’t all about looking good, and there is so much goddamn misinformation and gross diet-culture out there that it’s overwhelming.
I don’t care how you look, but I do care about your sexy brain health. Food *does* make a difference and optimizing for brain health and focusing on what you put into your body is going to impact the way you think and the way you feel. Science!
I don’t get too complicated with it: more produce, less processed food. If it comes in a package, moderation is key.
Not only will limiting booze and caffeine make you feel better, it will also make a big difference in your overall sleep quality.
It’s really hard to change these habits, but I know you can do it and I know it’s worth doing.
Move your body. We were not built to sit at a desk or stare at a screen all goddamn day. Find an exercise routine you can do consistently. When I was fresh off of the brain injury, all I wanted to do was remain horizontal in a dark, silent room. The neuropsychologist I worked with for many months that followed the injury encouraged me to commit to a minimum of 2 walks per day that lasted 45 minutes each. Because I was on disability leave, I could make it happen. For most, that’s not feasible.
What I’d suggest is finding either
a group of people to work out with,
a great home workout program you enjoy, or
joining a gym that has enjoyable classes at times that work for you.
The less you have to think about it or plan, the better.
Those of us with busy schedules or that are not as able-bodied as we use to be might find this hard. You’re smart, you can figure this out - move your body. If you’re physically injured, work with a physiotherapist to help get you moving safely.
Finally, reconnect with things that feel good for your soul: get outside and be in nature, have a social visit with people who fill up your cup, or crack open a new journal to reconnect with your Self.
Oh, one more thing: do yourself a favour and get a great therapist. You don’t have to do this all by yourself, and it’s important to have supportive folks who can get you back on track and heading in the right direction.
Pacing: a Pomodoro-style flow to the day
This one is for all of my high-achievers out there! You ambitious, self-starters!
A pacing strategy is where you alternate full-focused, deep thinking with short breaks. For my nerds out there, yes(!), this is very similar to the Pomodoro Technique. I would consider the formal approach to begin, and then be flexible with it; you might need slightly more or less focus time, and slightly more or less recovery time.
Here’s how it works: you work the duration that works for you, let’s say it’s 20 minutes. Then, you have a 5 minute recovery. Repeat.
A few months after my head injury, I could last about 20 minutes, and my recovery (gasp) was 18 minutes.
What does recovery time mean? This is important. Recovery time does not mean scrolling through IG, calling your mom, going shopping, sending your bff a voice note, tidying up, tossing a load of laundry in, or checking emails.
Recovery means destimulating. The quickest way to destimulate the body is by decreasing or cutting off audio or visual stimuli. For me, it means turning off the light, closing my eyes, and revelling in silence. As I progressed through my own healing journey, I did begin to incorporate a more active-style rest, like meditation, breathing exercises, cuddles with the dog, stretching, or a walk around the block. My ‘recovery’ time slowly decreased from 18 minutes to about 4 minutes, but that has taken literal years.
If you work in an office environment, destimulating fully may be tricky to do. If there is no dark room to hide in, I suggest a) closing your eyes at your desk and listening to a meditation, or b) getting outside for a quick walk.
Develop your own Point system ie Brain Watchers
This is a game-changer for those of us who go go go until we collapse. I want to emphasize that you will absolutely improve if you can implement a personal pacing system effectively! This shit works!
Think Weight Watchers, but for your brain…an “activity” diet. We’re going to create a point system for your brain that is going to help you manage your overall capacity in a day so that you can decrease your overall stress and also the need for recovery. The strategy comes from the Parkwood Pacing System, where each and every activity you engage in during the day is associated with a number of points, varying between 1 and 5. You get a maximum number of points per day and you can’t earn additional points.
For example:
Driving the kids to school, 30 minutes: 1 point
Dinner with friends, noisy restaurant: 3 points
Leading a meeting with 6 people, 1 hour: 5 points
We need to create 2 things:
The legend: here’s a great place to start building your own legend. Add or remove items that are more relevant to your day and adjust points to your liking;
The schedule: if you already have a packed calendar, I want you to go through and ‘score’ the last couple of weeks. What are you averaging per day? I’d recommend subtracting 5 points from your daily average and have that be your daily target. If you don’t follow a tight schedule, I’d suggest building one from scratch in a spreadsheet and tallying points that way.
Each item will be different, and every person has a different point capacity. You can test this over a few days to know when you still feel good vs. when you are absolutely toast.
In the early days post-head injury, I could deal with maybe 15 points in a day. They got eaten up pretty quickly between kids and just existing. I’m now up to about 40-45 points per day. By being thoughtful about how we spend our time and energy, we can better manage for the long game.
We each have a breaking point where we are no longer effective. Most of us are struggling through the day, operating through a fog. We are no longer top-form in our relationships or with work. We become irritable or depressed, get a headache, maybe even suffer pain. All of these things are our bodies saying: That’s it! STOP. That’s enough. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.
You might have to bail sometimes. Reschedule. You may miss that event. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SAY NO. You will probably have to cancel. You might have to move things around or delay by weeks or months. This is a huge shift, but by prioritizing and protecting your time, you protect your Points. By managing points, you have better health.
When you’re working your way through the week, start by using the goal points as a gauge. You won’t nail it every time, but on the days that you’re over your points, check in: how do you feel? What symptoms come up for you?
The goal, by the way, isn’t to constantly max out your points each day. I want you to be under!! This opens up the opportunity to rest, actual recovery, and to begin to find some joy in your days.
The goal is to figure out a sustainable baseline, where you feel strong and resilient on an ongoing basis. It may take some time to get there if you have some recovering to do.
Give yourself a few months to figure this out. Maybe set a late-2023 goal of finishing out the year with some pep in your step.
Give yourself a fighting chance.
Call me when you need a boost.
PS:
3 very important notes
You fucking matter!! I know it’s easy to put yourself at the bottom of the priority list, but I am telling you that you have to stop doing that. You cannot continue to be in service to others when you are a literal depressed and anxious wet noodle collapsing at the end of the day. This doesn’t end well. You matter. You deserve to feel good.
You are not lazy. Rest is not lazy. Not being productive is not a failure. The To Do list will always be there, and we need to learn to be okay with that.
This will take a long time. This is not a one month project - this is a lifestyle change. Like I said, you deserve it.