On Women and Alcohol

Only three percent of people ever make it into recovery, and 85 percent relapse within their first year. Overcoming the misunderstood disease of addiction isn't easy, but if you're a woman, the road to sobriety has more hurdles to jump. 

I had no idea I had a drinking problem. My then eating disorder took up the entirety of my head's real estate. As it turns out, up to fifty percent of people who enter eating disorder treatment also struggle with other addictions. 

Addiction in all its forms has been given a rebrand in recent years. It's now medically referred to as 'Substance use disorder (SUD) because it's a mental disorder, not a choice. 

Considering the mountainous amounts of misinformation out there, it's understandable people experience dis-ease when calling their disease 'alcoholism.' It's a word riddled with negative connotations. Still, I'm a fan of the old-school terminology because the second I said I was one in an AA meeting, aged 27, my life transformed into one worth living, not losing. 

"Shame is the biggest enemy"; I deeply resonated with these words, spoken to me by the wonderful Ann Dowsett Johnston, best-selling author of Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol. 

As we chatted over Zoom that Wednesday morning, she followed her foe-finding statement with the solution - community. "It's the opposite of addiction." 

At fifteen and a half years sober, it's women like Ann who showed me recovery was possible. Funny as it may sound, I felt intense relief to discover I had a disorder. It meant I wasn't alone, and I could finally stop fighting an internal battle that would've been impossible to win without a community of brave, bold, badass women. Their stories turned my breakdown into a Brené Brown-style breakthrough. 

It didn't matter how much we drank, how old we were or what our background was, the similarities outweighed the differences. Sadly, the similarities that unite us trickle into how we were treated by a world that doesn't just shame women with addiction problems; it creates them. 

When health risks associated with drinking hit the headlines, the surface is hardly skimmed, and the reason we turn to addiction in the first place is neglected. It's shock factor over substance - pardon the pun.

The mental health disorder is a byproduct of trauma, and a lineage of addiction and abuse runs through the family trees of most 'alcoholics.' Yet, women statistically experience heightened incidents of sexual abuse, and I'm yet to meet one who hasn't. 

“…society's addiction inattentiveness makes it near impossible for untreated alcoholics to break free from a cycle that will continue without intervention.”

Unfortunately, society's addiction inattentiveness makes it near impossible for untreated alcoholics to break free from a cycle that will continue without intervention. In fact, it's getting worse. 

Generational trauma and sexual assault feature in my story, as does a variety of physical and mental health complications like undiagnosed neurodiversity. We don't talk about it, but eating disorders and SUD are quite literally listed as symptoms of ADHD. I was continually diagnosed with anxiety and depression, which isn't uncommon. Neurodiversity is most prevalent in individuals whose family members also have SUD and mental and neurological disorders. 

The average woman will suffer from poor health for almost a quarter of her life, compared to one-fifth in men and seventy percent of Google searches beginning with "Is it normal?" are written by young women with health concerns. So, the reality of women's drinking-related health risks not breaking the news shouldn't be breaking news. 

What did make the news, Ann joked, was the media coining Canada "the place that fun went to die." When the Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction's 2023 report dropped, jaws around the world followed suit. The report suggested adults consume no more than three drinks a week. 

In hindsight, the amount of times I lied to doctors about how much I drank is laughable; still, even my 'I'm not overdoing it' alter-ego wouldn't have delivered such a low figure. 

Nonetheless, it's low for good reason. Sticking to the CCSA's limit, a person's risk of developing head and neck cancer goes up by a striking fifteen percent. If you're a woman, Ann exclaims, it increases your risk of breast cancer by twenty percent, and your vulnerability to strokes and heart issues is four times higher than a man's. 

We've always known a tipple too much isn't fabulous for our physical and mental health, but women suffer the physical and psychological effects of addiction disproportionately faster. 

From a physical standpoint, Ann explained how we simply aren't "metabolically and hormonally equal." While our heightened risks of breast cancer, strokes and heart issues are finally being reported, the rise in conditions like "colorectal cancer" in young women remains largely unlinked. 

Given how normalized and common drinking is, the apparent gender healthcare gap and our biological differences, it simply isn't possible for the scope of the problem to not be far worse than we could possibly imagine, both in terms of figures and subsequent illnesses. 

"Young women are outpacing young men in presentation in emergency rooms, and girls as young as 20 are needing liver transplants. This story should've been on the front pages when it started happening, but it was overshadowed by the pandemic and opioid crisis."

Alcohol is easily accessible, but "it kills more people in America than opioids." As psychotherapist and Social Worker Gundel Lake said, "While many folks struggle with addiction to substances that we consider "harder," the majority struggle with alcohol use." 

Alcohol is the primary cause of avoidable fatalities in Canada. With eighty percent of the population drinking and twenty-five percent reporting they had no idea it had adverse health effects, chances are most people aren't curbing their cocktails at three. It doesn't matter if you do or don't have a drinking problem. Drinking in itself is a problem packaged as a way to celebrate and unwind. 

While the medical community has a gender gap to fill, marketers addressed their problem long ago. When researching for her book, Ann discovered how skinny vodka and melon-flavoured gin in cute little cans landed in stores. Women were "underperforming," and liquor distilleries saw an opportunity. 

"Back in 2014, Smirnoff gambled on their alcopop, and it paid off. Their sales went up sixty-six percent." Their bet paid off, and women are paying the debt today. 

The first alcopop I had was a WKD Blue. I was in high school, and the vodka-infused drink looked non-offensive enough, but beneath the makeover, the effects were no different from the straight liquor I drank ten years later. 

Yes, I'm an alcoholic, so my approach to boozy beverages was never 'normal' per se. But my alcoholism isn't what society deems as 'normal' either. I never drank in the morning, I never hid bottles, and I never lost a job. So, no, advertisers aren't responsible for my drinking problem, but they didn't help matters. 

When something is as easy on the eyes and taste buds as a can of Coke, the consequences are predictable. We've seen the same tactic reflected in the rise of vaping amongst teens and people who weren't smokers in the first place. 

It isn't just advertising alcohol that's an issue; it's advertising unattainable ideals of Western 'femininity.' Be everything, or you're nothing. 

"the modern woman's steroid that enables her to do the heavy lifting and escape from perfectionism."

Ann calls alcohol "the modern woman's steroid that enables her to do the heavy lifting and escape from perfectionism." We've all seen the Barbie movie, so I shall spare you the monologue. 

Because we live in such an "alcocentric" culture, I saw my inability to be perfect while intoxicated as evidence I was the issue. The worse my addiction got, the more shame I felt and the more money I spent on trying to visually present as put-together. I landed myself in serious debt; poor mental health and overspending go hand-in-hand. 

Women perform sixty percent of unpaid work worldwide and still spend an average of two and a half hours more on domestic chores than men. If current patterns persist, the wage gap will take 169 years to close. 

Despite the figures, women control more than eighty percent of consumer spending.

Our mental health is getting worse, social media is fuelling the rise in eating disorder figures, the cosmetic market is expected to be valued at $75.20 billion by 2030, and it's economically 'rational' for ambitious women to be thin, with obese women suffering a ten percent income loss as a direct result of their weight. 

Young girls and women are the unhappiest they've been in decades, and beauty standards are just one example of unattainable perfectionism and how shame is being used as a marketing tool, with the suppressing agent readily available. 

My anorexia went unnoticed, even complimented for an alarming chunk of time, but nobody picked up on my drinking. In the same way, we've accepted it's "normal" to go to extreme lengths to be thin; we've accepted alcohol to be a deeply ingrained part of life. "It's the water we swim in. Our entire culture has changed." 

I hadn't yet reached the point where I lost everything, but I was on my way and already deep in suicidal ideation. 

Only drinking on weekends quickly turned into drinking alone immediately after attending to my evening plans. I did everything possible to conceal the truth from others, including myself. 

"Women isolate and they create a very private ceremony around their drinking. It is a ritual, it's private, and it's cut off from others because if you drink too much as a woman, you're seen as sloppy. And that's the big difference between male and female drinking." 

We drink differently because society treats us differently, and when we don't, it's used as tabloid gossip. 

Compared to men, the disparities in how we drink and how it affects us mentally, physically and socially are undeniable. Our access to treatment stays true to the theme. 

Canada's publicly funded treatment centres have longer waiting times than private clinics, a luxury many can't afford. As Gundel discussed the "many obstacles" women have to overcome, she spoke of an often unconsidered disadvantage; time-poorness. 

"Women have more precarious employment opportunities because of caretaking responsibilities and the ways in which gender influences employment, employment security, and equitable compensation." 

Finances aside, we're also less likely to seek help for our drinking because of social stigma and shame. When we do, we're outnumbered two to one by men in treatment centres, the effects of which can be detrimental. 

I was lucky enough to go to rehab, but while there, at my lowest, I was re-introduced to a part of life I thought was over; unwanted sexual solicitation. 

There is an abundance of amazing men in recovery. Their vulnerability, tenderness, and emotional openness are inspiring, and they fearlessly challenge what Eric Pierni, Founder of Men Therapy Toronto, referred to as today's oppressive definition of "a real man."

However, predatory behaviour is far from a rarity in recovery spaces, and gender-based violence is a significant component of female addiction. I don't believe there are good or bad people; there are hurt people, and when the hurt goes untreated, the past repeats itself. The promise of help at the end of the addiction tunnel shouldn't lead to more darkness. 

The issues I've touched upon sound somewhat hopeless; they aren't. 

Change is overdue, and, as Ann stressed, a "public health conversation" needs to be held urgently. 

Society's toxic intoxication with shame has to end, and that starts with togetherness. My disease fed on isolation. It kept me away from support and made me believe what I was doing, thinking, and feeling was out of the ordinary. The cyclical pain of life was indescribable, but so are the joys of it today. 

I owe my sobriety to people who rejected shame and wore their vulnerability and honesty like a badge of honour. They inspired me to do the same, which is why I intend to keep my "alcoholic" label. 

Women's AA meetings occur twenty-four hours daily, helplines are a call away, and multiple foundations offer support. Options are out there, and anything's possible.