Pleasure, please
I say pleasure, you say….?
Most of us think of pleasure and immediately imagine sex or perhaps the culinary delights. Maybe a peaceful memory of a vacation, or nostalgic scene of our past, the sound of friends laughing heartily around a campfire.
With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, I’ve been wondering about how to extend little pleasures beyond a single day or event. The smell of roses and the taste of chocolate are delightful, yes, but how can I pepper my life with pleasure in a way that helps me enjoy everyday life? Is it possible to integrate meaningful amounts of pleasure into my life every single day?
To explore this idea, I need to better understand pleasure, because it certainly goes beyond human touch and a perfect little slice of pecan pie. While pleasurable, I can’t simply eat and have sex all of the time.
Do you think it’s possible to, say, exercise for pleasure? To find an intellectually stimulating debate pleasurable? Can I make the mundanity of cleaning pleasurable? Dare I ask: can I make work more pleasurable?
What is pleasure?
By now you may have heard about Epicurus and his philosophy on the pursuit of pleasure. In ancient Greece, he proclaimed that we should remove all the shitty things in our lives and have pleasure only!
There are many debates surrounding the morality of that approach, and I’m not interested in diving into those with you today. To manage that, I’ve read up on Jeremy Bentham, a philosopher of the 1700s who I will absolutely shout out for advocating for equality of women back in the day. Bravo, sir. He also philosophized extensively about pleasure, and focused more on the practicality and application of pleasure, the possibility of having slightly more without costing us in other areas of our lives.
Maybe it’s easy for some to see, to access, but in the hustle and bustle of the day to day, pleasure feels challenging to access. What I hope to do for you today is give you a little refresher on different types of pleasure, and that you can start enjoying it this very day.
What Bentham suggested was that we can categorize pleasures:
Basic biological-driven pleasure: eating, exercise, bathing, sleeping, and sex.
Cultural activities: enjoying art, listening to music, dancing, reading.
Expectation is a big one. My personal favourite pleasure-high is anticipation because I love the build up to an event and the fantasy of how it could all go.
Expectation is closely tied to imagination - our brain loves that shit!
Skill is a crucial one, and I think important for us in North American’s relentless work culture to focus on rebrading!! For example, a close friend of mine’s ideal pleasure is to constantly learn and develop a skill, like woodworking.
Pleasure that can be found in the end of something; a relief, if you will, when you get a report card back or you’ve enforced a boundary, or when you quit.
Getting that promotion, making more money, and a general sense of power (not in an icky way at all) can bring great pleasure.
Nature isn’t it’s own classification under Bentham’s theory, but worth a callout here: listening to the waves, breathing fresh air, walking amongst trees, or enjoying a panoramic view are all intensely pleasurable.
There is a common thread that ties all of these together:
By going through each of your senses to rediscover your immediately surroundings, it’s almost meditative in how we can find something to enjoy. Sure, cleaning can be a bore, but be sure to bask in the pleasure of a (momentarily) clean home when you’ve finished.
Pleasurable…funerals?
I’m using this very Saturday as a test. I am currently attending an out of town funeral and am holed up in a questionable hotel. Funerals are bleak at the best of times, but I know and remember people smiling, laughing, loving.
Where is the pleasure here, and how do I get my own hands on it?
Big hugs from extended family, chuckling and tearing up over memories of the beloved deceased, and the renewed connections with family I don’t see often have been….uplifting, joyous, hopeful, and yes (!), pleasurable.
To build in moments of real pleasure into our daily life, we must be present in the moment, have true gratitude, and notice, sweat, and love the small stuff.